当发现自己的孩子在撒谎，你该庆幸还是焦虑？

当发现自己的孩子在撒谎，你该庆幸还是焦虑？_英语外教

When you find your child lying, should you rejoice or be anxious?

某一天，当发现自己的孩子在撒谎，你该庆幸还是焦虑？

One day, when you find your child lying, should you rejoice or be anxious?

英语外教为您带来场景重现：

The English teacher brings the scene to you:

“梅西纳先生，我的孩子今天不去学校了因为他生病了。“

"I don't want to go to school today, father, because he's sick.". "

”请问您是谁？“

"Who's calling, please?" "

”我是我爸爸。“

"I'm my father.". "

孩子是否对你撒过谎？孩子从什么时候开始撒谎？你可以识破孩子的谎言么？

Did the child lie to you? When did the child start telling lies? Can you read the kid's lies?

儿童发展研究专家通过专研得到了以下结论：

Through expert research, the following conclusions are drawn from the children's development experts:

2岁的孩子，刚开始只有30%会撒谎；4岁的孩子，会有50%会撒谎；四岁的孩子80%都会撒谎。研究表明，2-12岁的孩子随着年龄的增加，孩子撒谎的比例也在稳固提升！几乎所有的父母都会给孩子说撒谎不是好孩子这句话，那么有多少父母能够识别出孩子说话的真假？Kang Lee也做了调查。调查显示大多数的成年人对孩子的谎言没有太多的辨别率：

At the age of 2, only 30% will lie at first; 4 year old children will lie 50%; four year old children will lie 80%. Research shows that 2-12 year old children, as the age increases, the proportion of children lying is steadily improved! Almost all parents tell their children that lying is not a good child. How many parents can recognize the truth of a child's speech? Kang Lee also made an investigation. Most adults don't have much discrimination about children's lies, according to the survey:

为什么不是所有的孩子都撒谎？当发现你的孩子撒谎会不会惊慌？

Why don't all children lie? Will you panic when you find your child lying?

一个好的谎言需要两个关键的元素。第一个是心智理论，换言之读心的能力。读心能力是一种知道相同情况下不同的人知道不同的事情的能力，是一种可以区分我知道什么和你知道什么的能力。读心在撒谎时能力很重要因为撒谎从根本上说就是我知道你不知道我知道。因此我的谎言成功了。

A good lie needs two key elements. The first is the theory of mind, in other words, the ability to read the mind. Reading ability is the ability to know different people in the same situation and know different things. It's a ability to distinguish what I know and what you know. It's important to read your mind when you lie, because lying is basically what I know you don't know, I know. So my lies succeeded.

第二个撒谎的关键因素是自我控制。控制语言、控制面部表情、控制身体动作。这样的谎言才让人信服。小孩子中读心能力和自我控制能力更强的，更早开始说谎，也成为了更老练的撒谎者。

The second key to lying is self-control. Control language, control facial expressions, and control body movements. Such a lie is convincing. Mind reading ability and self control ability of children in the early start, lie, also become more sophisticated liar.

事实证明这两种能力在社会中也是至关重要的。读心能力和自我控制能力不足经常会有一些严重的发展问题，比如多动症和自闭症联系在一起。所以当你发现二岁的孩子开始撒谎，不要惊慌，你应该庆幸。这意味着你的孩子进入了典型发展的新的里程碑。

Facts have proved that these two abilities are also of vital importance in society. Lack of reading and self-control is often associated with serious developmental problems, such as ADHD and autism. So, when you find a two year old child lying, don't panic, you should be lucky. This means that your child has entered a new milestone in typical development.

为什么孩子会撒谎？

Why does a child lie?

孩子都是希望被肯定鼓励的，没有得到满足，自然“饥渴”，为了得到表扬或者让父母高兴，撒谎就是自然的事情了。同时孩子不喜欢被批评、被斥责，这种感觉的确很不爽。趋利避害是人之本能，最初可能是被迫撒谎而“成功”地避开批评，尝到了甜头之后就会强化这种行为，形成习惯。

Children are expected to be encouraged, not satisfied, natural "hunger", in order to praise or to make their parents happy, lying is natural. At the same time, children do not like to be criticized and reprimanded, which is really a bad feeling. Avoiding disadvantages is the instinct of man. At first, he may be forced to lie, and "succeed" to avoid criticism, and after tasting the benefits, he will strengthen his behavior and become accustomed to it.

发现孩子撒谎怎么办？

What happens when a child lies?

孩子的撒谎大多数时候是不由自主的，大部分根源在于家长不恰当的教育方式。所以不必严厉批评，不要贴上撒谎孩子的标签。孩子都知道撒谎不好，贴上标签可能促使他真的成了撒谎的孩子了，当你发现孩子撒谎鼓励比惩罚的效果要好！你家孩子有没有“撒过谎”？你又是如何应对的呢？

Children lie most of the time involuntarily, largely because of inappropriate parental education. So don't be critical, don't put on the label of a lying child. Children know that lying is bad, and labeling may prompt him to be a liar. When you find that a child lies, encouragement is better than punishment! Has your child lied? How do you deal with it?

英语外教